What is the fastest thing in world?

Four guys
1 from Harward:
1 Oxford
1 Texas
&
a Sardar from Pujab university

1 common question:
What is the fastest thing in world?

Oxford:Light
Harvard:Thought
Texas:Blink of an eye
Sardar:Its loose motions,
because last night I was lying in my bed
& before I could blink,think or turn on the lights,
it was over!

Sardar going to shikaar

Sardar darvaze pe GUN liye khara tha
Wife: y r u standing here?
Sardar: Sher k shikar pe ja raha hon
Wife: To jao na..!
Sardar: Kase jaon baher KUTTA khara hai

Sardar selected a short girl to marry

Sardar selected a short girl to marry.

Why?

Because guru ji told him

Musibat jitni choti ho utna acha hai ...:-P

A Sardar & his wife were waiting for train

A Sardar & his wife were waiting for train
itne main KHYBER MAIL aa gaye
Sardar bhag k train mein charha
or
apni wife se bola
jab khyber female aye to tum bhi ajana

Sardar always smile during lightning storms

Q:- Why does Sardar always smile during lightning storms?

A:- They think their picture is being taken.

Money wrapped in a rubber band?

Sardarji to others:
Did anyone lose money wrapped in a rubber band?
One said, Yes I did
Sardar: Well, it's your lucky day,
I found the rubberband!

I will give both of them

Sardar 2 friend: Guess how many
coins I have in my pocket?
Friend:If I guess right, u give me 1?
Sardar:Oji, I will give both of them

Sardar: I hav¢â‚¬â¢nt slept all nite in the train.

Sardar: I havnt slept all nite in the train.
Friend: Y?
Sardar: Got upper berth.
Friend: Y didnt u ecchanged?
Sardar: oye, there was nobody
2 exchange in the lower birth..

You are seeing my wife

Sardarji & his wife going to city in auto.
Driver adjusted miror.
Sardarji shouted you are seeing my wife.

Go & sit back. I will drive auto...:D

Sardar sent SMS to his BOSS

Sardar sent SMS to his BOSS:
"Me sick, no work"
Boss SMS back:
"When I am sick I kiss my wife try it"
2 hours later sardar sms 2 boss:
"Me ok, ur wife very sweet"

A child after 3 month of marriage

A sardar had a child after 3 month of marriage.
He asked his wife ye 3 month k bad bacha kaise howa?

Wife replied:tumhari shadi ko kitna arsa hua?
sardar:3 months.

Wife: or meri shadi ko ?
Sardar: 3 months

Wife: or bacha kitne month k baad?
Sardar:3 month.

Wife: total kitne hue?
Sardar: oye 9 months & start dancing
Balle Balle;->

Sardar got into a bus on 1st April

Sardar got into a bus on 1st April
when conductor asked for ticket.
He gave Rs.10/-
and took the ticket and said april fool.
I have pass.

A sardarji goes to a chinese restaurant

A sardarji goes to a chinese restaurant
and puts his finger
on the last of menu: Bring this.

Waiter: Oh! you can't get it
because he is the owner of restaurant.

What is a grownup joke?

A sardarji's boy asked his dad:
What is a grownup joke?
Sardar ji replied:
any joke which is eighteen years old

Monkeys play football

Sardar to doctor:
When I sleep, monkeys
play football in my dreams.

Dr:No problem,
just take this medicine b4 sleep.

Sardar: Kal se khaonga aaj final hai.

Sardar english k paper main fail ho gaya

Sardar english k paper main fail ho gaya,
He did translation:

1.Main aam admi nahi hon
I'm not a mango man

2.Sarda or garma fruit hain.
Colda & hota r fruits

3.Mujhey bhi english ati hay
English comes 2 me also

4.do ro do chaar.
give and give four.

5.Mera taluk hari pur hazara se hay
I belong 2 green pur thousanda:)

Sardar on phone:

Sardar on phone:

Doctor my wife is pergnant.She is having pain right now.

Doctor: Is this her first child?

Sardar: No this is her husband speaking‚¦

1st ever intelligent sardar.

1st ever intelligent sardar.

Teacher: what do u call a person
who cannot hear anything?

sardar: u can call him anything,
because he cannot hear anything:-)

A sardar goes to a restaurant

A sardar goes to a restaurant
and his cell phone rings.
Wife: How are you?

Surprised Sardarji:Oji I am fine but
how did you know where I was?

Traffic signal for aeroplane

Sardar saw a very high Airtel Tower
& red light glowing on the top,
seeing this he said €India is developing fast,
see there are traffic signals for Aeroplane in the air

Lady wanted 2 go 2 toilet

In a party a lady wanted
to go to toilet so
she inquired with a sardar
papaji susu karne ki jagah dikhao,

sardarji replied u naughty
pehle tum dikhao.

What is skeleton?

Interviewer:what is skeleton?
Sardar:Sir, skeleton is a person
who started dieting but forgot to stop it..!!!

Examiner taking practical of sardar

In bio practical:
Examiner:Tell me the name of
this bird by seeing it's legs only?
Sardar:I don't know.
Examiner:You failed, what's your name?
Sardar:See my legs & tell my name

Santa goes 2 a Petrol Pump

Santa goes 2 a Petrol Pump
sees a board Don"t use Mobile Here,
he Picks his Mobile Phone,
Calls everyone from his phone
& says DON"T CALL ME NOW.

Santa throw the butter out of the window?

Q: Why did Santa throw the butter out of the window?
A: He wanted to see butterfly!

Santa sing ka 20 saal bad bacha hua

Santa sing ka 20 saal bad bacha hua.
Wo udas ho gaya.

Banta : Yaar udas kion ho?
Santa : 20 sal baad bacha huwa wo bhi itna sa.

Once Banta Singh attended an Interview.

Once Banta Singh attended an Interview.

Interviewer : Give me the opposite words.
Banta Singh : Ok
Interviewer : Made in India
Banta Singh : Destroyed in Pakistan
Interviewer : Good... Keep it Up
Banta Singh : Bad.... Put it Down
Interviewer : Maxi Mum
Banta Singh : Mini Dad
Interviewer : Enough! Take your Seat
Banta Singh : Insufficient! Don't take my seat
Interviewer : Idiot! Take your seat
Banta Singh : Clever! Don't take my seat
Interviewer : I say you get out!
Banta Singh : You didn't say I come in
Interviewer : I reject you!
Banta Singh : You appoint me

I will never marry in my life

Banta ask santa: what will you
advise your children about marriage?

Santa declares: I'll never marry in my life and
I'll give same advice to my children also.

U r just trying 2 make me jealous.

Preeto 2 maid:
Oh Kanta, I have reason 2 suspect that
Banta is having an affair with his secretary.

Kanta: I don't believe it!
U r just trying 2 make me jealous.

Titanic was sinking.

Titanic was sinking.
An englishman asked Santa, "How far is land"?
Santa: 2 KMs.
Englishman jumped into sea.
Englishman: Now, which direction (left or right)?
Santa: Downwards!

Banta to his new bride

Banta to his new bride, Preeto,
“Now that we are married,
do you think you will be able
to live on my small income?‚

“Of course, dear, no trouble,‚ she replied.
“But what will you live on?‚

Because married men are more obedient.

Banta owned a factory.
He issued orders that only married
men would be employed.
Friend asks: Why this ?

Bant reply:
Because married men are more obedient.

Thats a lucky match stick

Santa Singh tried to light his cigarette. He struck the first match on the match box, but it didnt light.

He tried another, It didnt light too. The third one finally lit his cigarette, carefully blew the match out and put it in his vest pocket.

“What for did you put that match in your vest pocket?‚ asked the another man.

Santa replied, “Thats a lucky match stick. Ill use it again.‚

It's only with a female

American: In our country ,
marriage even takes place with email.

Santa: In India, it is only with a female

What a shot you made - santa singh

An astronomer was watching the sky from his telescope.
Santa Singh was observing him, suddenly a star falls.

Seeing that Santa Singh shouted, “what a shot you made!‚

Santa & Mathematical conversion

Maths Teacher Was Teaching
Mathematical Conversions

Teacher-If
1000 Kgs= Ton.
Then

For 3000 Kgs
=How Much?

Santa-
Ton!Ton!Ton!

Cut workload by 50%

Salesman:This computer will
cut your workload by 50%.

Santa:That is great,
I will take two of them:p

Bank make your dreams come true

Santa had a dream in which someone murdered him.
Next day he closed his bank account. Know why?
Because the bank's slogan was:
We make your dreams come true...

To avoid side effects

Santa cuts sides of the capsule
before taking it?
Guess why?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
To avoid the side effects!

Theif entered kitchen

Santa: Look a thief has entered our kitchen
and he is eating the cake I made.

Banta: Whom should I call now,
Police or Ambulance?